Meet Jessy Marshall, founder and director of the boutique PR and events agency Hive HQ. Like many of us, Jessy believed that her path to motherhood would be straightforward – until it wasn’t.
At 28, Jessy began thinking about her fertility, but it wasn’t until four years later that she took action. Despite being diagnosed with endometriosis and polycystic ovaries, conditions that came with painful and heavy periods, she was never advised to investigate her fertility until she and her partner had been trying to conceive for months.
After naturally falling pregnant and giving birth to her son, Leo, Jessy wants other women to know what she wishes she had known earlier: understanding your fertility is crucial, and early investigations, like the AMH test, can provide vital insights.
Below, Jessy candidly shares her fertility journey, the unexpected twists, and her advice for those who have yet to begin their own fertility journey.
When did you start thinking about your fertility?
“I started thinking about my fertility at 28, but I didn’t do anything until [I was] 32. I had experienced issues on the pill and had been told by doctors I had endometriosis and polycystic ovaries. I had painful and very heavy periods – which should’ve been my sign to investigate it further. I look back now and wish I had started paying attention earlier. When I did, it was because of my age and conversations with my partner, Michael.”
Medical note: Painful menstruation, or dysmenorrhea, is a common symptom of endometriosis that affects up to 90% of women, with severe pain experienced by about 30% of them. While dysmenorrhea is a key symptom of endometriosis, it is important to note that not all women with painful periods have endometriosis. Heavy bleeding, or menorrhagia, may occur in women with endometriosis, although it is not always a primary symptom.
What were your expectations before beginning your fertility journey?
“At around 30, when Michael and I started talking about our future, I became more aware of what we might need to do. I hadn’t been on birth control for some time, maybe five years, and thought the journey would be ‘easy’. I started to see a naturopath and do acupuncture to assist in my painful periods. It wasn’t until I was trying, and a few months later, that my GP recommended an AMH test. I wish I had been better educated to do this earlier.”
What did your fertility journey look like?
“Michael and I got married in November 2021, and we then [started] trying to fall pregnant. Month after month, we didn’t have success. Then, just after 11 months (October 2022) of trying, I fell pregnant but had a miscarriage after eight weeks of being pregnant. We then had another miscarriage in January of 2023. I felt defeated. It felt like it would never happen.
“Every month that went by, my period arrived again, and I felt deflated. Or worse, there were months when I was late or had sore breasts, and I would get my hopes up again that I was pregnant – only to be regularly disappointed. I worried that the stress of running a business and not investigating things earlier would mean I might never be a mum. Michael and I started testing after January 2023’s miscarriage and didn’t have any answers as to why we were not falling pregnant or why we couldn't ‘hold’ when we did fall pregnant.
“We had a trip planned to Europe and decided when we got back, we would start intrauterine insemination (IUI) before in vitro fertilisation (IVF). The Europe trip was exactly what we needed and we ended up falling pregnant naturally.”
Can you identify any moments during your journey that clashed with your expectations?
“Month after month, it became more apparent that people around me were falling pregnant. While I was happy for them, I wondered if I would ever get that feeling. I wanted the elation and joy, not the feelings of defeat, frustration, and sadness.
“In the same breath, I also knew so many friends going through similar experiences. I suppose that was one of the surprises – having difficulty is not uncommon. We were all sharing the same feelings, and I wondered if this was the case and why we didn’t have more resources or, at the least, more awareness!
“I had always assumed the positive. I was healthy and happy and never had reason to think otherwise. Once my journey started, I often wondered, ‘Did I leave it too late?’ and ‘Should I have started earlier?’”
What was the most surprising thing that happened to you during this time?
“I think the lack of support that we had to have [after] trying for 12 months before they would look to escalate things. It felt as though you really had to advocate for yourself or know what to say to get answers or move things forward.”
What was the best or most rewarding thing that happened to you during this time?
“In the end, we did conceive naturally. I am thankful that we got our little boy, Leo – that was the most rewarding part.”
What do you feel is the biggest misconception surrounding fertility?
“That it's easy to fall pregnant. Throughout our schooling system, we are taught about sexual education and how not to get pregnant. However, we are not educated on fertility. Even during our 20s, this isn’t something we are taught unless we investigate ourselves. We do not give women an accurate picture of the process, as we often make decisions without full knowledge.”
What was the most helpful thing you did for yourself during this time?
“Acupuncture was super helpful in many ways. It was an outlet, it became a time I could completely switch off, especially mentally – kind of like a forced nap! It also, for whatever reason, made me feel positive and gave me hope.
“Sharing with friends and family what was going on was also helpful and beneficial. Having these conversations and getting support from others helped them know how to support or comfort us and allowed us to feel heard.”
What advice would you give anyone who hasn’t yet gone down their fertility path?
“The sooner you know your situation, the better. Knowledge allows you to take steps to navigate your journey. That doesn’t mean trying this minute, but it does mean taking the tests and having conversations with experts. Get ahead of your journey.
“If I had known it would take me close to two years, I would have investigated and altered my preparation sooner.
“I wish more women shared their stories. The more we share and talk about them, the more we realise that so many are also going through similar things and the more hope we can have.”
Disclaimer
This article is for general informational purposes only. It is not intended to be medical advice and is not a substitute for medical advice. You should speak with a medical professional if you wish to assess your fertility and before making any decisions about healthcare, including contraception.
